Princess Fiona: [Shrek interrupts her and Farquaad's wedding] What are you doing here?
Lord Farquaad: Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding...
Shrek: Fiona! I need to talk to you.
Princess Fiona: Oh, now you wanna talk? Well, it's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me...
Shrek: But you can't marry him.
Princess Fiona: And why not?
Shrek: Because... because he's just marrying you so he can be king.
Lord Farquaad: Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.
Shrek: He's not your true love.
Princess Fiona: And what do you know about true love?
Shrek: Well, I... uh... I mean...
Lord Farquaad: Oh, this is precious.
[chuckling]
Lord Farquaad: The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! Oh, good Lord.
[signaling his guards, one of them holds up a cue card reading "Laugh", and the attendees roar with laughter]
Lord Farquaad: An ogre and a princess!
Princess Fiona: Shrek, is this true?
Lord Farquaad: Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our happily ever after. Now kiss me!